Millennials,
Most of us tend to get mad at our
parents when they punish us. We see discipline a s a big problem because as
teenagers we seem to think that we “know everything”, and we view our parents
as the bad guys. What we don’t recognize is that our parents have an even
harder time dishing out discipline to us because they worry that it can our relationship
with them. Parents discipline out of love because they want the best for us. In
the Family Proclamation it states “HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love
and care for each other and for their children. “Children are a heritage of the
Lord” Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness,
to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love
and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding
citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be
held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”
When it comes to problems, it is best to go solve them
using the Problem Handing Model. This model helps insure that both children and
parent are dealing with the problem in the right way. The first question that
we must ask ourselves is “Who’s problem is it?” which basically means who is
going to be affect by the problem the most. The next step is to identify who is
going to be affected by the problem, and that is either the child or the
parent.
In the case of it being the child who is affected the
most by the problem the parent needs to allow them to go through the natural
consequences. An example of that is if the child chooses not to eat the food
for dinner, then they will feel hungry for the rest of the day. The only time
to not let a child the experience natural consequences is in three instances These
three instances include when things are too dangerous to where someone could
die or become addicted to something, the next is if the problem harms others,
and lastly if you are looking too much into the future.
Parents who become the target of being affected most by
the problem need to go through a four-step process to insure the issue get solved
in the correct way. The first step is to make a request this could be asking
the child to go to bed earlier or for them to clean up their toys after they
are done playing with them. The next step is used only when they don’t listen
to your request, and the problem is continually being done over again. You would
then make an “I Statement” such as: When you choose not to put your toys away I
feel that you are not listening to me because you keep doing it, and I would
like it if you started putting them away in your toy box instead of the floor. If
the child is still not listening to you after these steps, then the third step
comes into play. At this step you want to make a frim statement. The firm
statement can be something like “If you don’t stop you’re going to get in trouble.”
The last stop step is do a logical consequence, so if the child chooses not to
put their toys away then you put the toy away for two days. You wouldn’t make
your child do jumping-jacks because they didn’t put their toys away.
Whoever is dealing with the problem whether it be the
child or the parent both sides need to show support. Support is the biggest
thing with this model because it shows that no matter what the person is doing
you still love them.
Blogger,
Laken Nordin
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