Millennials,
Some
of the biggest causes of a blended family include death, divorce, and adaption.
We
often use terms like step parent, mixed, re-constitutionalized, and remarried
when we think of a blended family. No matter how our family is or came to be we
need to know that it was ordained of God. In the family proclamation we read
“THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between a man and women is essential
to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of
matrimony, and to be reared by a father and mother who honor marital vows with
complete infidelity.” I love this because it applies to blended families as
well because both parents are to teach their children truth and right in all
things. Whether a family has come together because of a divorce or death is
okay, the children have a right to have loving guiding parents in their lives.
Usually
after two families have blended together it takes about two years for them to
figure out what is normal for them. In two years the family will experience
cycles that make them familiar with their new settings, rules, and family
members. Younger child often have an easier
time excepting new parents or sibling in their lives simply because they don’t
fully understand why the changes have occurred. Teenagers or adult children may
have a harder time excepting new family member because they compare them to
their biological family, don’t like the new discipline, they feel betrayed by
their current parent for replacing their mom or dad. These problems occur because the child is not
used to their new cycle. Once the bumps in the new family relationships settle
the flow of things are much easier, and the new family start to bond and grow
closer to one another.
When
it comes to discipline in blended families, women who have children and
remarried often will defend, interfere, or become emotional with how her new
partner treats her children. The one thing that parents need to remember when
disciplining in a blended family is that the biological parent needs to be the
one doing it. Correction from a step parent to early can lead to resistance and
mean comments being made like “You’re not my real dad I don’t have to listen to
you.” The bioglical parent whether it be the mother or the dad needs to make
sure that they are following through with punishments. Step parents often need
to act like an aunt or uncle before they can fully disincline their new
children. By acting like a fantastic aunt or uncle at first it allows the new
parent the chance to be playful, but also reinforce the rules that are already
in place.
Couples
who have come together to blend their families actually have a lot of
opportunities to grow closer to one another. They get the chance to come
together and counsel with one another about every decision made. By doing this
the couples are having the opportunity to also grow closer to God. Consider
this quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf when he said: “Great marriages are built brick
by brick, day by day, over a lifetime.”
I hope that with today’s blog it has helped those entering or struggling
with their new blended families realize the happiness that can come from them.
I want people to know that families are the most important thing that our
Heavenly Father has blessed us with. We also need to be grateful for the
opportunity to be sealed to our families because we know that we will get to be
with them for eternity.
Blogger,
Laken Nordin
