Communication

Millennials,

Communication is one of the most powerful and influential attribute in a relationship.  There are three main parts to communication that people use today they are: words, non-verbal words, and tone. Communication with words is exactly what it sounds like talking back and forth. Non- Verbal communication are things like body language and expressions which happen to be the most understood. Tone are things like pitch, speed, and volume of how the person is talking. If we are able to understand and use all three of these communicational levels the right way then we can have better relationships with our spouse, children, family members, and friends.

Some of the biggest problems with communication include: miss interpretation, we don’t say what we mean, and we find it awkward to talk to others. When we text the use of Emoji’s are more prevalent than real conversations. We expect people to understand what we are saying through a picture. There are more facetime call or ear to ear conversations then there are face to face conversations. There is a five-step process to communication. We first focus on our thoughts and feelings then we are able to encode it to where we understand it. (Encoding is defined as our brains coming up with symbols or a system that we can de-code later.) Then after we have come up with a code there is a re-coding stage, and after that there is a medium or media being used like tone, body language, or facial expressions. Then one all those are done the person can influence based on thoughts and feelings.

A challenge that come with this five-step communicational process is being on the same channel. You can either agree or disagree to be on the right channel with one another. Signs of not being on the same channel include: screaming, leaving hints, or thinking that the other person doesn’t understand you. An example I have of this is when I get mad at my own boyfriend. I will often tell him to leave my apartment, and one day he actually did. I told me him that I was super mad at him, but he insisted that I was the person who told him to leave. I explained to him why I was hurt by saying “when I tell you to go away that’s when I want you to stay the most.” By not being clear, venting, and impulsive thinking we say things that make sense to us, but not others.How we can tell that our message got across or to make sure that we are understanding the other person we can ask questions. Through questions we are able to get a response. If your wife for example is saying “ you are self, all you do is work and that’s it.” You can ask “If I understand…” or “Did I catch this correct?” These two questions make it a lot easy to communicate back and forth to one another. Becoming vulnerable makes it a lot easier to hear and say things to your spouse children, family members, or friends. Communication is a very intimate things as well. when it comes to talking about hard issues or own anger take the time to hold hands with the person you are talking to. By doing this motion you are opening yourself, and saying things that you truly mean.

When communicating with a spouse the more thing that you can talk about as a couple the better. The closer you become as a couple the closer build up to God. When talking never use corrupt language which means say things that are not disrespectful, dishonest, or impure. Also, if you need give the other person the benefit of the doubt, really think things through before you say them as well because that is part of grace. In doctrine and Covenants section 76: 53 it states “And who overcome by faith, and are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, which the Father sheds forth upon all those who are just and true.”  This is important because those who have been married in the temple are not sealed to one another until they are living righteously. Communication helps with living righteously. It is also important to remember that when you are mad at your spouse Satan is egging you on to stay mad at them. This is why it is important to always be communicating in your relationship. The more you communicate together as a couple the happier you can become.

Blogger,

Laken Nordin